‘HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS’ REWATCH REVIEW

ULTIMATELY, THIS MOVIE IS DEFINITELY WATCHABLE. THE STUDIO DECIDED THAT MICHAEL MYERS SHOULD BE LIKE JASON FROM THE ‘FRIDAY THE 13TH’ SERIES (ANOTHER FRANCHISE WHERE THE STUDIO COMPLETELY MISSED THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE ORIGINAL AND JUST TURNED IT INTO A CASH COW) AND WELL HERE WE ARE. DESPITE MICHAEL BEING VERY INTENTIONALLY KILLED OFF IN ‘HALLOWEEN II’ SO THE FRANCHISE COULD MOVIE INTO OTHER INTERESTING TERRITORY, HE IS BROUGHT BACK HERE EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY ZERO SENSE STORY-WISE TO DO SO.

IF THEY HAD DECIDED TO IGNORE ‘HALLOWEEN II’ THEN THE STORY MAY HAVE WORKED JUST FINE, BUT THEY KEPT IT CANON AND SO THE MOVIE ALREADY STARTS AS KIND OF A MESS THAT IT HAS TO SIFT THROUGH. IT’S NOT A GREAT MOVIE BY ANY MEANS, BUT IF WE ARE FORCED TO SEE MICHAEL CONTINUING TO SLASH HIS WAY THROUGH TEENAGERS, THEN THIS ISN’T A TERRIBLE WAY TO DO SO. THE CHASE SCENES ARE GOOD, ESPECIALLY IN THE FINAL ACT, AND DANIELLE HARRIS’ LITTLE JAMIE LLOYD IS A GREAT NEW A NEW FINAL GIRL EVEN GIVEN HER VERY YOUNG AGE (THOUGH HER CHARACTER’S POTENTIAL IS WASTED IN THE FILMS FOLLOWING THIS ONE). ALSO, IF YOU WATCH THIS ONE WITH ‘HALLOWEEN: 20 YEARS LATER’ AND ‘HALLOWEEN’ (2018) THEN YOU GET A PRETTY COOL H10, H20 AND H40 ANTHOLOGY SET.

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD

THE MOVIE BEGINS BY REVEALING THAT MICHAEL (SOMEHOW) SURVIVED BEING BURNED ALIVE IN ‘HALLOWEEN II’ AND HAS BEEN COMATOSE SINCE THAT NIGHT IN 1978. IT’S NOW BEEN 10 YEARS AND HE HASN’T MOVED AN INCH. AND YET (AGAIN…SOMEHOW) DECIDES TO FINALLY GET OUT OF BED WHILE BEING TRANSPORTED BACK TO SMITH’S GROVE. WHY AN INPATIENT MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY IS TAKING COMATOSE MEDICAL PATIENTS IS COMPLETELY BEYOND ME, BUT HERE WE ARE.

WE THEN MEET MICHAEL’S NIECE JAMIE, WHO BY LOOKING THROUGH A LITTLE MEMORY BOX GIVES LETS US KNOW THAT HER MOTHER WAS, IN FACT, LAURIE STRODE (WHO I GUESS GOT A MAN AND HAD HER IMMEDIATELY AFTER? THE TIMELINE DOESN’T EXACTLY MATCH). WE ALSO LEARN THAT THE IN-STORY REASON WHY JAMIE LEE CURTIS’ LAURIE ISN’T AROUND IS BECAUSE JAMIE’S PARENTS HAVE DIED IN A CAR CRASH AND NOW FOR SOME REASON JAMIE IS IN FOSTER CARE. APPARENTLY THE STRODE FAMILY IS UNABLE TO TAKE CARE OF HER? SEEMS WEIRD BUT OKAY.

DR. LOOMIS IS ALSO REVEALED TO HAVE LIVED THROUGH BEING BURNED IN THE HOSPITAL FIRE TEN YEARS EARLIER AND IMMEDIATELY JUMPS AT THE CHANCE TO RETURN TO HADDONFIELD WHEN HE REALIZES MICHAEL HAS ESCAPED. HE CONTINUES TO RANT AND RAVE ABOUT MICHAEL BEING EVIL INCARNATE THE ENTIRE TIME, WHICH HAS BECOME THE CHARACTER’S ENTIRE PERSONALITY.

DR. LOOMIS ONCE AGAIN SPENDS THE ENTIRE HALLOWEEN NIGHT TRYING DESPERATELY TO LOCATE MICHAEL WITH THE POLICE (OR WHAT’S LEFT OF IT AFTER MICHAEL DECIDES TO WIPE MOST OF THEM OUT FIRST BEFORE HUNTING JAMIE). A LYNCH MOB ALSO FORMS (A COMMON THEME IN THIS FRANCHISE APPARENTLY) AND HUNTS MICHAEL ON THEIR OWN.

AFTER TAKING REFUGE IN THE SHERIFF’S HOME, MICHAEL BEGINS WIPING OUT WHO’S LEFT UNTIL JAMIE FLEES WITH DR. LOOMIS TO THE SCHOOL. LOOMIS DOES HIS BEST TO STOP MICHAEL HERE AND THE LYNCH MOB TRIES TO GET JAMIE AND HER FOSTER SISTER RACHEL OUT OF DODGE ONLY TO REALIZE MICHAEL HAS ALSO HITCHED A RIDE WITH THEM. THEN MICHAEL IS SHOT MORE THAN ENOUGH TO KILL ANYONE BY THE MOB AND IS SEEMINGLY DEAD (AGAIN).

AFTERWARD, JAMIE IS SAFELY BACK IN HER FOSTER HOME AND WHILE HER FOSTER MOTHER DRAWS A BATH FOR JAMIE, JAMIE STABS HER WEARING A CLOWN COSTUME VERY REMINISCENTLY OF A SIX YEAR OLD MICHAEL MYERS, SENDING DR. LOOMIS INTO A TRAUMA CRAZED FRENZY WHERE HE NEARLY SHOOTS JAMIE AND THE FILM ENDS.

LISTEN, THE MOVIE IS WATCHABLE AS I MENTIONED EARLIER, BUT THIS FILM ALREADY HAS LOST THE POINT OF THE ORIGINAL MOVIE BY BOGGING IT DOWN WITH MORE LORE THAT MICHAEL DOESN’T NEED. THAT BEING SAID, IT’S STILL A MOSTLY FUN RIDE AND A GOOD WATCH TO PULL OUT EVERY YEAR DURING THE SPOOKY SEASON. IT’S ALSO FOUND MORE APPRECIATION AS KIND OF A CULT CLASSIC AS THOSE WITH FOND MEMORIES OF WATCHING IT WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER NOW ENJOY IT AS ADULTS. I KNOW I USED TO RENT IT ALL THE TIME TO BINGE ALL THE FILMS AT ONCE OVER AND OVER AGAIN ALL YEAR. DEFINITELY GIVE IT A WHIRL DURING THE HALLOWEEN SEASON, BUT OTHERWISE MAYBE LEAVE IT IN THE SHADOWS.